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Wednesday, December 22, 2010

OMG!!! Finally Published.

Pardon me while I squeeeee all over the place.  It finally happened, I've got a right to say 'published author'.

"Sex Toy Stories:  Erotic Tales of Naughty Play" published by Ravenous Romance.  Don't believe me?  Go ahead, take a look!

This nearly didn't happen.  I entered a contest with first prize being the opportunity to be in this Anthology.  I didn't win the contest.  Add in a lot of miscellaneous distractions from RL and I also didn't check the email account I set up to participate in that contest.  Oops.

They had decided to include my story and wanted my info ASAP!  OMG.  I barely made it under the wire.  Leave it up to me to almost ruin my first chance to be published.

Thank you Lori Perkins, Editor, Agent and all around super-woman.  You made my day!

Monday, September 27, 2010

Kegels......for men?

I stumbled on this fascinating bit of information by accident, but damn.  It needs to be shared.

Google 'kegels for men'.  Go ahead, I dare you.  Who knew that exercise they had us do for Lamaze class worked for men?  Nobody--back then.

Apparently this is a fairly recent discovery. 

It helps men with bladder issues, strengthens the erection, prolongs sex and may even work to overcome premature ejaculation.  I especially like the exercises that are supposed to strengthen the erection.  Talk about a new hobby that adds a little excitement to the usual routine! 

I can almost hear this discussion.  "Honey, did you know you can make your cock stronger?"  I'm fairly sure you'll have his attention, right now.  Then you explain how to do the exercise and reveal the fun part.  Get an erection.  "Here, let me help you with that."  Hah!  The main problem would now be getting him to pay attention long enough to do the actual strengthening exercise. 

"Make this washcloth bounce up and down."  Start him out 'easy' by hanging a washcloth over the cock.  When he's fairly fascinated by how well he can do this trick, move your way up the evolutionary scale of bath products until he can handle a beach towel.  Not only will this make sex so much more fun, it'll be quite entertaining to watch.  No doubt the man will be more than happy to show off his progress and since he's naked and in the mood...I think you get the drift.  Perhaps you'll burn off a few calories too?

While we're on the subject it wouldn't hurt to resurrect those old habits and practice kegels for yourselves ladies.  According to the Mayo Clinic they help with incontinence issues, ward off prolapse and may even help some women achieve orgasm easier.  If any of you younger ladies are rolling your eyes right now, please, think about it.  I'm writing for the more mature woman and you'll be there...almost before you know it.

Ladies and Gentleman.  Start your kegels! 


Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Warning! Self-promotional Moment Ahead...

 Um, it might be a good idea to warn you that the following pertains to an Erotic short story.  I realize that's not everyone's idea of a light read.  LOL

My short story, Good Vibrations,  is at and I would appreciate a vote.  Yay or nay, the choice is certainly up to you.   I'm already begging for votes here, I certainly won't ask you to vote for it if it isn't your favorite!

So you think you want a woman in your life? Older men and dating.

I posted this reply on another site to a gentleman who bemoaned the fact he couldn't seem to 'find' a date.  In order to protect the innocent, I've left out his identity, should know that he mentioned making friends with 'several really gorgeous professional women who kept him at arms length'.  Mammoth red-flag moment!  I suspected and addressed some common fallacies that I've stumbled upon while attempting to navigate the dating game myself (after too many years on the sidelines)...

I started researching dating sites for a story idea. I looked at the various reviews and combed through the horror stories. Then I went on a few of the free sites and started reading the "about me" stuff that men posted. After weeding out the freaks, I really concentrated on what the rest had to say about themselves and it was...needy. Very needy. Which isn't attractive, at all.

Then there were the ones who sabotaged themselves from the beginning by choosing a name which included "Lonely" and "Desperate" or had a laundry list of requirements that started with, "I've been alone for too long". Well, duh? A fairy tale princess couldn't live up to their fantasies. We won't even go into the number of 60 YO's searching for 30-somethings or younger. That was scary.

My point is that they are setting themselves up for disappointment, it might not be conscious, but these are the guys who will be whining that they can't find a date or get anyone to contact them. When I look at a cell-phone picture of some guy slumped in his office chair, in a t-shirt with a wild-eyed look and an unkempt beard, sadly in need of a haircut--am I hugging the keyboard in anticipation of luring him to love me and be Mr. Right? Hell no! If I read his bio and list of demands, puzzling through the typos and lack of capitalization--does that make a girl swoon? Not hardly.

So, a few thoughts. Rein in your desperation. It shines like a lighthouse, warning women to steer clear of the rocks. If you've tried Plenty of Fish or something similar, take a good hard look at what you've written. Be realistic. Relax. Don't ask for the moon. Since you are able to write without typos and know where the cap key is located, you're way ahead of most of the competition. Take a good hard look in the mirror. Are your standards way too high? Gorgeous women are attracted to brains and attitude and high-achievers, (which will probably get me in trouble, but that's my take) but if that's all you yearn for or will accept, you've set yourself up for failure.

Stop hoping for instant success or that magic moment. Get yourself out in social settings. Do you go to the local community center and take a few classes? How about the rec center for a work-out? Don't be afraid to say "hello" or have a inconsequential conversation about the weather. Look a girl in the eye, don't stare at your feet. Be prepared to walk away but also train yourself to look for clues that she wouldn't mind talking a little longer. Make a joke. Ask her if she'd like to grab a cup of coffee. Settle in and have a conversation with someone, even if she's not gorgeous. I doubt she'll tackle you like a linebacker if you take a moment to pass the time of day. You may find yourself pleasantly surprised by how interesting/funny that person is, under their cloak of social insecurity.

Give yourself a quota. One short, pleasant conversation a week with someone different. Even if it's the clerk behind the counter at a convenience store! Get in the habit. Try to think positive, instead of negative. I know it's hard but you have to try.

So, now you're wondering, "She's nagged me forever, where's the embarrassment come in?" Yeah, I kind of hoped you'd never ask. Let's just say that I no longer have the excuse of searching the dating sites for research only. My very long marriage has reached it's expiration date and I'm speaking to you as the voice of experience. I've made the effort to reach out and send comments a few times. The responses have been less than spectacular. Even the men who claim they just want someone to 'pen-pal' with seem to have a severe 'fantasy' dysfunction.

My one and only civil offer to have lunch was from a 70 YO gentleman who has apparently kicked the bucket, as near as I can tell. The other hot prospect was after a little something on the side while his wife was at work. No thanks. I think I'll leave the dating sites to the impossible dreamers and go to the gym, or take a class or make it a point to smile and say a few words while I'm waiting in line at the store. The chances are a million times better for a pleasant moment or a good laugh or perhaps a chance to make a new friend. And friendship is a very good place to start a new romance.