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Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Mary Jane West aka Mae West

Mary Jane West aka Mae West, 1893-1980

Born to a prize fighter father who later became a PI, and a mother who made corsets and was once a fashion model, she began performing professionally at the age of fourteen in vaudeville and first appeared on Broadway in 1911.   A playwright, screenwriter and actress, Mae spent most of her time tweaking the establishment and pushing the envelope of morality in her day while entertaining a generation. 

Prosecuted on moral charges of ‘corrupting youth’ she received a sentence of 10 days jail time in 1927.  With her usual charm, she got out two days early for ‘good behavior’.  Media attention only enhanced her career, a trick that she used repeatedly to her advantage over the years.  Most of her plays had to be rewritten in order to pass the censors, and she regularly got reprimands for her ‘vulgar’ behavior.  Somehow this only spurred her on to keep moving forward.

Mae secretly married at seventeen and didn’t divorce until 1942.  According to her, they kept separate bedrooms and only spent a few ‘weeks’ together.  (If the media hadn’t accidentally found out that she was married, she might never have bothered to divorce.)  Rumor had her married to an accordion player during this same time period, but she never confirmed this relationship.  Being a confirmed bigamist might have been more ugly press than even she could deflect with a twitch and a smile. 
Mae was an early supporter of gay rights and the women’s liberation movement, but she claimed she wasn’t a feminist.  Clearly, she did soak up what might be considered the ‘lower moral values’ of musicians, actors and artists.  She did like her men.  At the same time, she was devoted to her family, moved them to Hollywood and took care of them.  She seemed to be a woman capable of and worthy of deep relationships even though she didn’t fit into the societal norms of the day.  When the owner’s of her apartment building objected to her relationship with an African-American, she bought the damned building and took care of that nonsense.

At sixty-one, she became romantically involved with one of the muscle men that served as a backdrop for her Vegas show.  Mr. Novak once commented, “I believe I was put on this Earth to take care of Mae West.”  Thirty years younger, he stayed with her until her death at eighty-seven. 

Quotes that I like:

A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up.

A hard man is good to find.

A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him.

A man's kiss is his signature.

A woman in love can't be reasonable - or she probably wouldn't be in love.

An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises.

Any time you've got nothing to do and lots of time to do it come on up.

Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

Cultivate your curves - they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided.

Don't keep a man guessing too long - he's sure to find the answer somewhere else.

Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can't figure out what from.

Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.

He who hesitates is a damned fool.

I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it.

I believe that it's better to be looked over than it is to be overlooked.

I didn't discover curves; I only uncovered them.

I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.

I like a man who's good, but not too good - for the good die young, and I hate a dead one.

I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far.

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.

I only like two kinds of men, domestic and imported.

I speak two languages, Body and English.

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.

I'll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.

I'm a woman of very few words, but lots of action.

I'm no model, lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.

It isn't what I do, but how I do it. It isn't what I say, but how I say it, and how I look when I do it and say it.

It takes two to get one in trouble.

Attitude, positive feedback and reinforcement, a belief in self and a little showmanship are all the qualities that Mae West took and molded to become an icon in her day.  She wasn’t perfectly beautiful and at 5’ and 120 pounds (in her prime) she’d be considered a little chunky today.  When you watched her on the screen, that lack really didn’t matter.  I’m sure she had some bad days--when she didn’t feel like “Mae West” and maybe more like “Mary Jane”.  Still I understand what she projected, a sense of allure and security in her own sexuality.  We should all strive to allow a little Mae into our life.

Monday, January 24, 2011


Once she could remember every word, taste, touch and smell. Every bittersweet minute could be savored and replayed. The years sped by. Details slipped away. His face faded; his last name forgotten.

Today she felt the memory stir, demanding to be revisited.

Inventing an errand, she left for a trip into town. She stopped in the city park, stared blindly at a paperback and turned her mind to the past to sift through the last faint traces. She remembered drinking in every nuance at the time—voice, scent, expression and the intimate touches they shared. She remembered, but could no longer find the facts. They’d finally fled, bleached away by the years.

A sharp burn centered in her chest, pain for this loss. Did nothing remain? The first time someone made love to you. When you realized there was a difference. When you knew every single damned time before, it had meant nothing more than momentary gratification. When you knew it would never happen again.

No. One moment still lingered. Clear as a bell on a humid summer Sunday morning.

He’d just climaxed; they watched each other wordlessly. He kissed her on the forehead. Her hand lifted to touch the exact spot as she remembered. He’d stretched forward and rested his chin on top of her head. She could still feel the pressure of that odd gesture, completely covered and contained by his body. The unspoken regret, the apology and the ending of something that couldn’t begin, all communicated in that last moment. Graduation was in less than a week, families and his fiancĂ© due in a few days.

Thank God, it wasn’t gone.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

OMG!!! Finally Published.

Pardon me while I squeeeee all over the place.  It finally happened, I've got a right to say 'published author'.

"Sex Toy Stories:  Erotic Tales of Naughty Play" published by Ravenous Romance.  Don't believe me?  Go ahead, take a look!

This nearly didn't happen.  I entered a contest with first prize being the opportunity to be in this Anthology.  I didn't win the contest.  Add in a lot of miscellaneous distractions from RL and I also didn't check the email account I set up to participate in that contest.  Oops.

They had decided to include my story and wanted my info ASAP!  OMG.  I barely made it under the wire.  Leave it up to me to almost ruin my first chance to be published.

Thank you Lori Perkins, Editor, Agent and all around super-woman.  You made my day!

Monday, September 27, 2010

Kegels......for men?

I stumbled on this fascinating bit of information by accident, but damn.  It needs to be shared.

Google 'kegels for men'.  Go ahead, I dare you.  Who knew that exercise they had us do for Lamaze class worked for men?  Nobody--back then.

Apparently this is a fairly recent discovery. 

It helps men with bladder issues, strengthens the erection, prolongs sex and may even work to overcome premature ejaculation.  I especially like the exercises that are supposed to strengthen the erection.  Talk about a new hobby that adds a little excitement to the usual routine! 

I can almost hear this discussion.  "Honey, did you know you can make your cock stronger?"  I'm fairly sure you'll have his attention, right now.  Then you explain how to do the exercise and reveal the fun part.  Get an erection.  "Here, let me help you with that."  Hah!  The main problem would now be getting him to pay attention long enough to do the actual strengthening exercise. 

"Make this washcloth bounce up and down."  Start him out 'easy' by hanging a washcloth over the cock.  When he's fairly fascinated by how well he can do this trick, move your way up the evolutionary scale of bath products until he can handle a beach towel.  Not only will this make sex so much more fun, it'll be quite entertaining to watch.  No doubt the man will be more than happy to show off his progress and since he's naked and in the mood...I think you get the drift.  Perhaps you'll burn off a few calories too?

While we're on the subject it wouldn't hurt to resurrect those old habits and practice kegels for yourselves ladies.  According to the Mayo Clinic they help with incontinence issues, ward off prolapse and may even help some women achieve orgasm easier.  If any of you younger ladies are rolling your eyes right now, please, think about it.  I'm writing for the more mature woman and you'll be there...almost before you know it.

Ladies and Gentleman.  Start your kegels! 


Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Warning! Self-promotional Moment Ahead...

 Um, it might be a good idea to warn you that the following pertains to an Erotic short story.  I realize that's not everyone's idea of a light read.  LOL

My short story, Good Vibrations,  is at and I would appreciate a vote.  Yay or nay, the choice is certainly up to you.   I'm already begging for votes here, I certainly won't ask you to vote for it if it isn't your favorite!

So you think you want a woman in your life? Older men and dating.

I posted this reply on another site to a gentleman who bemoaned the fact he couldn't seem to 'find' a date.  In order to protect the innocent, I've left out his identity, should know that he mentioned making friends with 'several really gorgeous professional women who kept him at arms length'.  Mammoth red-flag moment!  I suspected and addressed some common fallacies that I've stumbled upon while attempting to navigate the dating game myself (after too many years on the sidelines)...

I started researching dating sites for a story idea. I looked at the various reviews and combed through the horror stories. Then I went on a few of the free sites and started reading the "about me" stuff that men posted. After weeding out the freaks, I really concentrated on what the rest had to say about themselves and it was...needy. Very needy. Which isn't attractive, at all.

Then there were the ones who sabotaged themselves from the beginning by choosing a name which included "Lonely" and "Desperate" or had a laundry list of requirements that started with, "I've been alone for too long". Well, duh? A fairy tale princess couldn't live up to their fantasies. We won't even go into the number of 60 YO's searching for 30-somethings or younger. That was scary.

My point is that they are setting themselves up for disappointment, it might not be conscious, but these are the guys who will be whining that they can't find a date or get anyone to contact them. When I look at a cell-phone picture of some guy slumped in his office chair, in a t-shirt with a wild-eyed look and an unkempt beard, sadly in need of a haircut--am I hugging the keyboard in anticipation of luring him to love me and be Mr. Right? Hell no! If I read his bio and list of demands, puzzling through the typos and lack of capitalization--does that make a girl swoon? Not hardly.

So, a few thoughts. Rein in your desperation. It shines like a lighthouse, warning women to steer clear of the rocks. If you've tried Plenty of Fish or something similar, take a good hard look at what you've written. Be realistic. Relax. Don't ask for the moon. Since you are able to write without typos and know where the cap key is located, you're way ahead of most of the competition. Take a good hard look in the mirror. Are your standards way too high? Gorgeous women are attracted to brains and attitude and high-achievers, (which will probably get me in trouble, but that's my take) but if that's all you yearn for or will accept, you've set yourself up for failure.

Stop hoping for instant success or that magic moment. Get yourself out in social settings. Do you go to the local community center and take a few classes? How about the rec center for a work-out? Don't be afraid to say "hello" or have a inconsequential conversation about the weather. Look a girl in the eye, don't stare at your feet. Be prepared to walk away but also train yourself to look for clues that she wouldn't mind talking a little longer. Make a joke. Ask her if she'd like to grab a cup of coffee. Settle in and have a conversation with someone, even if she's not gorgeous. I doubt she'll tackle you like a linebacker if you take a moment to pass the time of day. You may find yourself pleasantly surprised by how interesting/funny that person is, under their cloak of social insecurity.

Give yourself a quota. One short, pleasant conversation a week with someone different. Even if it's the clerk behind the counter at a convenience store! Get in the habit. Try to think positive, instead of negative. I know it's hard but you have to try.

So, now you're wondering, "She's nagged me forever, where's the embarrassment come in?" Yeah, I kind of hoped you'd never ask. Let's just say that I no longer have the excuse of searching the dating sites for research only. My very long marriage has reached it's expiration date and I'm speaking to you as the voice of experience. I've made the effort to reach out and send comments a few times. The responses have been less than spectacular. Even the men who claim they just want someone to 'pen-pal' with seem to have a severe 'fantasy' dysfunction.

My one and only civil offer to have lunch was from a 70 YO gentleman who has apparently kicked the bucket, as near as I can tell. The other hot prospect was after a little something on the side while his wife was at work. No thanks. I think I'll leave the dating sites to the impossible dreamers and go to the gym, or take a class or make it a point to smile and say a few words while I'm waiting in line at the store. The chances are a million times better for a pleasant moment or a good laugh or perhaps a chance to make a new friend. And friendship is a very good place to start a new romance.